Dirty Little Purchases
by Velasa
Summary: Ever the fan of slender supportive waists, Garrus stumbles across the existance of corsets. Femshep/Garrus humor fluff!


Dirty Little Purchases

by Velasa

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Another one from the MEKmeme! The prompt asked for Garrus discovering the existance of corsets and this bit of silliness dug into my brain and wouldn't leave until I got it down. Let the fun begin!

* * *

She'd had a suspicion something was up, but the shipping manifests confirmed it. Oh he'd hidden it well- the purchases were buried deep under a wall of technical mumbo-jumbo half a mile thick that most people would have fallen asleep halfway through- but he'd underestimated Shepard's need to fixate on every little blessed detail of her ship and what came onto it. A few keystrokes highlighted and plucked the suspicious purchases out of the technical upgrades for electronic components and dropped them onto an empty window for clearer reading.

How _very_ interesting.

Shepard stretched her back out as she got up from her desk, going over the facts that lead up to this little development- about a week ago they'd been watching some old vid a with a scene where the protagonist was getting her corset laced and his eyes had just about bugged out of his head. He hadn't said much, just the briefest inquiry on the purpose of the garment before dropping it quickly. But she'd noticed the way he stared at every subsequent scene with the intensity he usually reserved for something he was trying to snipe.

Seems like Garrus had a thing for corsets. She knew turians had a fetish for exaggerated slender waists and it was a reasonable enough of an extrapolation of the concept. Granted he hadn't said anything out loud, but the way he'd screwed her into the couch as soon as the movie was over spoke volumes all on its own.

Her lover and his purchases weren't in their bedroom- they'd left Illium a few hours ago and all the cargo was already on board, but nothing had been brought up to this floor. And if he wasn't up here, he'd be in the battery, so she made her way out to the elevator.

* * *

He didn't even notice when she hacked the doors for the main battery- he was ducked into the back by the cannons and the familiar rumble in his breathing told her he was, ahem, _busy_. Shepard slinked back in complete silence, watching admiringly for a few moments as he was getting himself off with one of the books in question propped up on a crate, before she decided it was time to interrupt.

"All the porn we downloaded between us when we were first figuring out how to do this- including the ones _based _on us- and all it really takes to turn you on is the Sears catalogue?" she laughed as she peered over his shoulder at an ancient ad for Victorian lingerie.

Apparently getting caught was a level of shock he wasn't prepared for because his erection shot back into his plates so fast just watching it gave her whiplash.

"Shit, you can do that? I've never seen that before."

"I can, but it's not comfortable!" His strained subharmonics matched the grimace on his face as he turned his head around towards her "And you haven't because you've never given me a reason to before! Damn it Shepard, don't surprise me like that!"

She couldn't help grinning, hands propping out on her hips as she watched his hands fumble to shut the book at the same time he was trying to rearrange his pants and failed at both. She shouldn't laugh, it wasn't right to laugh, but she did anyway and when he looked like he wanted to crawl into a hole and die it made her feel guilty. Her voice was softer when she spoke again.

"You know Garrus, you didn't need to sneak off to your room like a teenager with his dad's dirty magazines, I would have helped you with that." Shepard shook her head, settling on the floor beside him. "So why didn't you just _tell _me you liked corsets?"

"I didn't want to- you said human women used them to change their bodies into the perfect shape your society wanted, and your body doesn't need fixing, it's-" He gestured somewhat helplessly at her "It's perfect as it is Shepard, I didn't want to make you think it-"

She cut his rambling off with a soft kiss, a hand lingering on his scarred mandible. "Did I ever tell you how much I like it when you're acting all embarrassed?"

"A few times." A weak chuckle managed to come out that time, and he rubbed a hand against the back of his neck. "You're... not mad?"

"Garrus, why the hell would I be mad? Is there some turian taboo against touching yourself when you've got a partner that I don't know about?"

"No, just..." he sighed, grimacing again.

"Hey- no more of that crap, you hear me?" she murmured to him, thumb stroking his cheek while she continued. "So this is just a 'you-being-you' thing?"

A nod.

"For a hardass rebel-cop, vigilante-terror-of-the-underworld, you're one of the sweetest men I've ever met." The hand on his cheek tugged his mandible faintly to get him to tilt his head down so she could rest her forehead against his for a few quiet moments of bliss. She kept that soft contact with him as she spoke up in a much more formal tone- "EDI? Tell Joker to set course for the Citadel."

"Of course Commander."

Garrus blinked at her. She grinned faintly back.

"I know how much you like antique stores, so we're going to swing by a few and find a corset. One of the ero-shops should be able to fit me for a custom one for later... maybe one in blue... but that'll take longer than I'm willing to wait. If that-" she gestured to the centuries old, fully clothed scribbled models with high piled hair and demur drawn expressions- "can get you as turned on as you were when I came on here, then well..."

He choked as she leaned in to purr into his ear, running a finger down the seam in his groin. "I really need to see what you'd do to _me _in one." Damn, this soon after such a painful recoil and he was getting aroused again already.

"Can't argue with that, Shepard." and he grinned at her laugh when he flipped them to pin her to the ground.


End file.
